When we were at the park a few days ago, we met a young boy named Kay-leb. He was a very talkative sort (much like my boys) and told us lots of things. He told us that he was 9 1/2 and that he was a good singer and artist. He told us that his friends call him K-boy and that his cousins call him caveman. He told us that his mother tells him that he can talk anyone’s ear off. 🙂
He told us that he was trying to figure out what to do when he grows up, because he, “wants to be remembered for something.”
His words have been wandering around in my soul since then.
Part of me wonders what he’s like and what his family life is like. I wonder what confluence of self and environment leads a 9 1/2 year old to thinking about such things. I don’t mean to imply that there was anything dysfunctional about him, his family, or his thought process.
He was a normal looking guy with a mother nearby who kept tabs on where he was. He seemed well-fed, appropriately groomed and clothed.
What, though, leads a 9 year old to think about being remembered, instead of just living the life before him?
Aren’t those thoughts for those of us in our 40’s and beyond? 🙂
So, I’ve been thinking. This morning was our organic-produce delivery day. (I love that…organic, mostly local produce just showing up on my doorstep every Wednesday 🙂 As I was washing and trimming spinach and red leaf lettuce I was reminding myself to stay in the moment. I was truly seeing and feeling and enjoying the greens. I was thinking of how they came from mother earth, how they represented the work of various farmers and packers — as well as the young man who delivered it today.
Staying in the moment, I find, though somewhat contradictory, is the best way to go beyond my own circumstances and feel more connected to the whole world.
Kay-leb’s words, to me, implied a certain concern about his own impermanence; ‘when I am gone, who will remember me…remember that I once existed?’
And my answer to that is: the people who have loved me.
I see my three beautiful, passionate, determined, loved and loving children and know that within them resides my immorality. As long as they remember me…remember that they were loved and cherished by me…then I live on.
I have no need to be famous. I have no need to stand out as a person who can lead, take charge, weave miracles, or cook glorious meals. I have only to endeavor to fully know myself, because it is in this way that I can be present, in my moment, and in that moment I can be fully aware of my loving and eternal connection to my family.
If I am floating around in a consciousness where spirit and body cannot connect, I am unlikely to connect with my children. If I am unaware of my own state of being, my own personhood, I am more likely to miss any connection with my husband.
But, if I can exalt in the ability to focus on my breathing…then I can focus on the extraordinariness of my family life. And that keeps me in the moment, with gratitude and satisfaction.
So, to Kay-leb, I could say, ‘you may never make it on American Idol, but I will remember you, because you had a great smile and an open, friendly spirit.’ That may not be enough for him, but at least he will be remembered. 😉