How’s that for a title? 🙂
Each night as I settle in to my pillow I ask myself what I accomplished during my day and what I would like to have done better. Then each morning, as soon as I am aware of myself, I ask myself what my focus will for the day ahead and what I hope to accomplish.
Doing each of these things gives my days…and my activities within them…a focus.
So, why am I unfocused this morning? I focused myself last night. I focused myself this morning. And then I walked down the stairs and found myself into a terribly frigid morning…and all thoughts scattered away from my brain. Cowards. 😉
Suddenly my prime focus became: getting and staying warm.
Since I’ve given up coffee, I started drinking a large glass of warm water to help the process along.
The good, no great, news is: by Saturday it should be 58 degrees here. Woo hoo!! We will totally be taking advantage of that good weather. Last Sunday it got up to 62, and we were outside as much as possible.
Other things on my mind: Valentine’s Day. I usually pay no attention to this ‘holiday.’ Chris and I made an agreement back when we were engaged that VDay would not be one we commemorated. I figured if he didn’t show me love, affection and devotion through the rest of the year, a bouquet of dead flowers or box of chocolates really wouldn’t make much of a difference.
But with children who are bored of all this cold weather, valentine’s day becomes an excuse for making cards and cutting out hearts from construction paper. And that’s on my mind. Occupying the attachlings with scissors, glue sticks, crayons and lots and lots of paper. Would that we had glitter glue….child heaven.
I realized yesterday, as I was typing a message to a friend, that I think of our apartment as ‘soul-less.’ This was a jolt of sorts. Our wonderful little home in Indiana, humble as it is, is absolutely full of spirit and soul. My own daughter was born in its living room. A friend’s daughter was born in the master bedroom. It hosted our homeschooling community for months and allowed me a place to have my closest-mama-friends over as often as I liked. It was full, to the top of the roof, with soul-ful-ness.
The apartment, on the other hand, doesn’t have the feel of a home, with memories and attachments. There’s an emptiness. It feels and is beige.
So my mind has turned to where we will live come this June. I want to move to a house with a yard and privacy and access to the outdoors. And since I don’t want to make the attachlings move again and again and again, I’d like to either buy a home, or rent some house that we could eventually purchase.
Housing prices here, though, are crazy. And then there are areas that are designated (by their local municipality) as ‘in decline.’ If you wish to purchase a home in the ‘in decline’ areas you are required to have an additional 5% of the home’s purchase price as your down payment. Um, could that be more ridiculous? I understand the logic, I just disagree with it. If you have an area that’s ‘in decline’ make it easier for people to purchase a home AND keep it. As long as those additional requirements are imposed, who could afford to buy?
I finished Whingari’s leg warmers. I made the second one quite differently from the first. It was fun to experiment. Both of them, however, are too loose at the thigh to stay up. Even after washing (cotton yarn, after all.) Am I daunted? Not at all. They are still good leg warmers. Or, as I’m thinking of it now…pants legs. I decided that since they fit well, except at the top, I’d knit the pants part and then sew the legs onto it. All of it is experimentation, so I might as well learn as much as I can. I’ll go ahead and start a new set of leg warmers for her based on what I learned.
I worked yesterday on learning how to do short rows and the wrap & turn related to them. I’m working on fingerless gloves with the soft, blue denim wool. I think I’ve worked out doing short rows with the W&T, and now have to figure out how to do the thumb hole.
It’s all learning.
So, am I stressed about housing or children with apartment-fever? Not really. The attachlings and I will find ways to keep our sanity for a couple more days of cold, and then get outside as much as possible.
The housing thing will work out. My mantra continues to be: god will provide. My task is to stay in the NOW and not be distracted by these things. Yes, I will do the necessary work to make sure we are ready. But I will not stress. I will not let the need to control everything take away my ability to enjoy my days…or my children.
god will provide