On my 45th birthday I put a huge goal before myself
— and gave myself until my 46th birthday to reach it.
Today IS my 46th birthday.
It was a turbulent year, what with yet another interstate move, a shingles diagnosis (for Chris) and all the ‘normal’ challenges of being a knitting-obsessed, homeschooling mama to three beautiful, intense and curious children.
Had I known how very turbulent and difficult the year would turn out to be, I might not have had the courage (naivete?) to expect so much of myself.
And that would have been a mistake.
I reached my (huge) goal and then some.
I am fantastically healthier this birthday than I was one year ago.
And that was the goal. I wanted to be healthier. Way healthier.
In body, mind and spirit.
I wanted to be enthusiastic about the beautiful life I had been given and the awesome, incredible and irreplaceable people with whom I am honored to share it.
So, I did a ton of research. I learned how to listen to my own body once again. I learned how to distinguish dogma from useful information. Then I made a critical decision to no longer give a crap about dogma. (Which absolutely includes the ‘public health agenda’ — but that’s a post for another day 😉 )
But this post is not about celebrating my accomplishment. That is already in my past. I am reaping the benefits of my hard work. My family is reaping the benefits too — because I am, quite simply, a much better person than I was a year ago. (And to be clear, one cannot really, truly be a better partner or parent unless one is willing to work on being a better person. It all flows from within. It all flows from health and healing and confidence and mindfulness.)
I’m already focused on what I can do in this precious window between my 46th & 47th birthdays.
And what will that be?
Continued Mindfulness is at the very heart of it.
When I am mindful of the health of my body, my spirit, my emotions, then I make better decisions. I do not have to rigidly follow rules or ‘to do’ lists if I can be mindful, at all times of the day, to what is health-promoting for me and my dear ones.
If I awake eager to get started with my day, then I’m making healthful decisions. (Which is not to be confused with being eager to do what I have before me in said day….no amount mindfulness will ever make me eager to scoop the litter box. But I am eager to live a day that might/will include such necessary unpleasantness.)
Mindfulness is the opposite of apathy, it is the opposite of numb, it is the opposite of coasting or ‘just getting by’ or ‘someday I’ll be…..’
Mindfulness means that this moment counts.
This moment cannot be just tolerated.
This moment doesn’t have to be fixed.
This moment, in all it’s torment or ecstasy IS.
I made a promise to myself and kept it. Along the way I discovered riches I did not know I needed. I discovered myself, my voice and my right to be free, happy, healthy, engaged, passionate and authentic.
So much good is flowing from this…from making my own physical, spiritual and emotional health a priority.
peace, blessings and love,
PS — I’ve turned ‘comment moderation’ on — because I want this blog to become, as much as possible, a two-way conversation. If you wish to chat with me privately, please leave a comment with a way to reach you (I’m available via email, as well as on facebook and twitter.) I will not publish comments with any personal information or if asked not to. All other (non-spam) comments will be published in an effort to kept the public conversation going.